Mine is circumstance and yours is character

If I am in a bad mood, its because I'm having a bad day but if you are in a bad mood, its because you are an irritable human being, says the New York Times best selling author and psychotherapist, Esther Perel.

We tend  to do this most of the times in our relationships and the worst part is that we don't even realize it. 

This is a statement that has cost us more than we know. We care about our perspectives so much that we don't care what the other person is feeling. it has become so much of a habit for all us, we don't see the mistake in it:

• If I lie it's because I did it for your own good, if you lie it's because you are a liar, a cheater and a manipulator.
• If I don't pick up your call, its because I am busy ,but if you don't pick up when I call its because you're with someone else ,you are a cheater and you are certainly not a loving boyfriend or girlfriend.
• If I cheat, it's because you didn't make me feel wanted or loved enough and definitely it was a mistake but if you cheat it's because you are a liar, and a cheater .
• If I don't make time for a date, its because I am busy, if you don't its because other things are more important to you than our relationship.

  Mine is character and yours is circumstance. This is what we tend to believe ,that OUR actions are explainable, that there is a reasonable explanation behind it, but YOU, your actions are not reasonable, that it is because you are flawed as a person and this explains your character .

I mean its just nature that we as human beings will always want to put the blame on others yet we don't see the speck in our own eyes.

To build better relations ,we should be able to know and understand this . We can be more nicer and softer and gentler and understanding when it comes to our partners.