Communication In Relationships

Communication In Relationships

Today communication in relationships has become so much complex. 

We have all heard that communication is the key to a happy relationship. Just as oxygen is key to life. 

Communication goes both ways ,from the way you approach and express yourself to your partner when you have an issue and how your partner is going to listen and react to what you have to say.

It's true that you can't expect your partner to read your mind and know he or she upset you. Which am sure most of us do!!!!!

We sit on an issue and walk around for days putting this stone cold face expecting him or her to understand what's going on.  When you would have just come to your partner and said,

" You know what babe, I didn't like the way you talked to me the other day. I was offended/ I felt hurt....... ..." 

Because he/she might have done something to upset you but isn't even aware that his words or his actions hurt you. You might be in a relationship but that doesn't mean he knows everything that's going on in your head. Your partner might even feel like he have his best,did everything right to the tea.

How to communicate effectively with your partner;

1. Listen to understand not to defend. As human  beings we always flee or fight once we feeling attacked either physically or emotionally but the goal here should be to understand and if you don't understand , don't attack.

2.Acknowledge their perception to show them that what they have to say is just as important. Acknowledging doesn't mean that you are agreeing that they are right. It just means that you hear what they are saying.

3. Disagree but don't dismiss. Try to keep an open mind. Don't just dismiss your partner just because you feel he or she is going on about the issue the wrong way. Let them express themselves then now try and give your point of view.

4. Be open. All it takes is one lie to make it all crumble . So be open and honest as possible.

5. And if it's so hard to keep quite when your partner is talking to you and he or she is upset,there's this method you can use where you cover your mouth with a cloth and wait until your partner is done speaking then take turns folding the cloth. So you listen effectively.

And as for the one who has been offended or feels hurt:

1. Be calm when you approach your partner. You don't want to say something or throw accusations you might regret later. Express exactly what you feeling in a calm voice and tone. 

2. Tell him or her what you feeling behind the anger: Are u feeling rejected? alone?, insecure?, threatened? Because behind all that anger,it's just a broken heart which hopes to be mended or a jealous heart which just hopes that you will tell it everything will be okay. 

Behind that anger, there's a person who wants to feel loved, appreciated and wanted.

3. Explain why you feeling this way. I know you will feel like why exactly do i have to explain myself when they are the ones who hurt you? But explaining yourself shows them exactly where you think they went wrong and how they can correct themselves. 

4. Tell them what it is that you want to be done? Again, why on earth will I go out of my way to make this better when they are the ones who hurt me?

The answer is simple. Your attitude towards this issue is going to determine if this is going to be an argument or a conversation .