Lying at the beginning of a relationship

 The thing about lying is that ,Whether you lied that you liked his haircut or you lied that you would never watch Game of thrones without her and yet you did watch it with your boys, its still lying and We all know you cant change the definition of a word just because you did it for someone else's good or piece of mind!!! Right?

Most of us find ourselves in situations where we have had to tell a little white lie about somethings at the beginning of the relationship: maybe you lied about loving the way he kisses you so as not to hurt his feelings or maybe it was her fashion choices that you didn't like or his drinking habits that you couldn't stand and now you are at this point in the relationship where you just cant take it anymore and boom! you throw this bombshell and now they are feeling totally betrayed and yet all you thought you were doing was accommodating their behavior so that they don't feel bad or get upset with you.

 

So is accommodating lying?

In my opinion it is lying. I know it's easy not to say anything at the beginning but also waiting to say them when the stakes are too high for everybody is just as bad, if not worse. Being honest is very important in a relationship. 

I mean dating was started to allow individuals to get to know each other before taking any further steps and see if they are compatible or not and so when you lie, you take away this choice from your partner to decide if they will change or not or if you two are just not compatible.

And now you have built this connection with someone for 3 years and then you lay it all out and say they have to change because you don't like this and that about them. 

And the question becomes but why didn't you say it at the beginning of the relationship?

 "Why did you lie to me?"

 "All these years I thought you loved it when I did this...",

 " So has it all been a lie?"

"Why didn't you say it earlier?"

And so then it becomes another story ,which you totally didn't intend to happen as you had hoped accommodating your partners behavior is for his or her own good.

Most people lie because they worry about the risk and consequences of being honest.

"What if he thinks am being an idiot for saying that? Or what if he gets mad at me for saying that? I mean it's just been two weeks, why would I start demanding this and that ?".

But at the same time the more you keep it in, the more you will have a lot more to explode about. And the more that relationship will take a turn for the worst.And the more things you will have to loose.

Be in your partners shoes and imagine how you would feel if you thought they liked your way of dressing but in real sense they don't and then it dawns on you "Oh my God, I get it now. That's why he didn't like us going out in public together!!"

So can we stop lying at the beginning of relationships or just anywhere? Maybe yes, maybe not but at the same time remember it takes a lot of effort to formulate lies and still find other lies to cover this same lie, so honesty is the best policy.