Signs That You Are Insecure In Your Relationship

Signs That You Are Insecure In Your Relationship.

Are you insecure?Do you worry that you have put on too much weight?Do you worry about your stretch marks?  Or is it about your financial situation? Or are you too afraid to voice your idea in a meeting?

Well,it's safe to say that we all have insecurities. It can be emotional, physical or financial.And it's even more tough to have these insecurities in your relationship.

 We all know that relationships are tough, especially if you dealing with issues from your past relationships.The truth is that there's nothing wrong about being insecure but when you start being paranoid and it becomes a constant problem in all your relationships then there's definitely something to start worrying about.

Here are the signs that show that you are insecure in your relationship.

1. Always seeking validation. 

"Does he even love me? Does he even mean it when he says it?"

Trust is a major thing in any relationship. There's nothing wrong with seeking constant reassurance of his love for you but the fact that you do not trust your partner when he says he loves you especially if he hasn't done anything to prove you otherwise then that's a major setback.

"Do you love me? "Ten minutes later "How much do you love me babe?"

You are allowed to ask but don't keep asking.

Are you asking these questions because you feel he's not being honest with you?Are you asking because you need to hear it  constantly to remind yourself that you are loved? Are you asking because it is yourself that you don't trust to trust your partner because of past experiences?

What if he says yes? Will that make you feel better about yourself,about your relationship?

By questioning , you are allowing yourself to rely on someone's else's word to validate your value, to validate that you deserve to be loved,you are loved and you can be loved. 

Unless he's showing you signs that he's not into the relationship anymore,then you have nothing to worry about.

2. Timing texts from your partner

Why did he take ten minutes to reply to my texts? Why isn't she replying? Did I say something wrong?

This has become a habit for most relationships as we determine the value of someone's love for us by how fast he texts or responds to our calls or how many times he called or texted in a day.  Because if they don't then they are either cheating on you,or no longer interested in you . 

 This habit of always being in your partners neck with small things like texting will definitely push them away. Just because they didn't text on time doesn't mean they don't love you.

If you not happy with the way your partner texts or replies to you then talk to them .They might be having a busy schedule or a rough day at work.

 Maybe if they doesn't reply at all or at least check in once a day then let them know this is how you would love to be treated and if they can't meet you halfway then it's better late than ever.

 Relationships are all about communication and if they listen but they don't hear you then they are definitely not interested in putting in the effort.

3. Being needy is a sign of insecurity 

Your partners world doesn't revolve around you , waiting on his calls and texts as if he has no other life apart from you is clearly a sign of insecurity. 

Go out with friends have fun and if he's spending more time with his friends talk to him and ask him to spend more time with you .

4. Giving altimatums .

If he doesn't call me today then I'll know he doesn't care about me!.

If you don't stop drinking, I'll leave!

If you don't marry me then I'll look for someone who will .

All these threats ,bargains or call them whatever you want to will NOT change anything. It will only make you more insecure, questioning their feelings, if they don't respond in the way you demanded.

Again give people time to make space for you in their lives.

People don't respond well to ultimatums, especially men. Ultimatums only pressure and trap people into things that they don't really want to do. And if they do it, it's just to please you.

If they are putting you in a position where you would start giving ultimatums then he's not the one. She is not the one.

You can't keep asking all the time for the same things.  

You can't keep waiting till they decide that this is what they want when they clearly don't know what they want.

 Clearly you can see that you are not on the same level in this relationship. If you both in this together then it shouldn't be so hard.

5. Unrealistic expectations 

Sometimes a relationship can't give you what a whole village can. Having high unrealistic expectations is the reason why most relationships fail because we expect this one person to give us everything and still be everything to us and for us.

We want this person to give us love, pleasure,pain, be close to us like glue but not too close so you have your own space, you want them to be open yet not too open so you don't loose that mysteriousness in the relationship and also at the same time expect them to be our best friend,our partner in crime ,our shoulder to cry on and everything in between. 

And this can be too much. It's okay to have a life outside this relationship.

6. Comparing yourself to your partner's exes. 

It's only natural to want to know who these exes are but there's a difference between mere appreciation for these exes who made your man the man he is today and obsessing over the exes and how to make him love you more than he did his exes and worrying maybe you will never measure up to his exes .

I mean this is just too much because first of all, this shows a lack of confidence in yourself. If he's friends with his exes and has given you absolutely no reason to doubt then don't go putting one into your head.

If he's not with her ,it's for a reason. After all who is he coming back to at the end of the day?

 7. You keep comparing your current relationship with your past relationships.

We all do this all the time. We get into new relationships and yet we still carry the baggage of our past relationships. Just because you were once lied to and manipulated doesn't mean your current girlfriend or boyfriend is going to do the same.

Especially when it comes to being cheated on,if you had been cheated on,a detective mode will always be one thought away. We read into every little thing our partner does .

Until he's proven otherwise, don't let it be the downfall to all your new relationships.For each new relationship ,treat it like a fresh start. 

If you keep letting your insecurities get the better of you then they are going to become a habit, and a bad habit for that matter.

If you feel you have any of the above signs, there is still room to work on it and make sure you have your happy ever after. Self love is very important so take time to work on yourself more  .

Once you get yourself together, it's easier to form more relationships. Better relationships.