Culture Defining Our Relationships

How Culture is Defining Our Relationships Today.

Culture plays a significance part in our relationships today: both healthy and unhealthy. It is culture that has shaped our perspective on how our relationships ought to be or not ought to be, on what kind of man or women we should be in the relationship, with ideals like what makes a relationship work and what doesn't .

The truth is that our actions are influenced by the environment we have been raised in. For example, some of us have been raised in a culture where  the concept of male masculinity is about physical strength.

From Indian ,African to Mexican ,these are cultures which cannot just embrace what relationships stand for in this modern day: fancy, freedom and virtual. It feels like its an annihilation of what culture stands for when it comes to relationships. Of course, the modern era comes with change that threaten to annihilate what society, what culture stood for and so its scary for our parents, for our great great grandparents to live in a world where they see todays generation changing. Change is not bad but when things start to change at a faster pace then everything seems to be in chaos.

 For example ,Marriage has always played a huge role in the African culture for decades and even arranged marriages was an acceptable. It was a sign of wealth ,a sign of status but things have changed drastically. In the 21st century marriage doesn't carry that much significance as it did 20 years ago. Today people have a choice whether they want to get married or not and if they do then who do they want to marry and at what age they would like to get married.

How has culture affected our relationships today?

Culture is what made us be the people we are today and the way we act, the way we relate to others .

1. Relationships are tough today because its not the norm we are used to. Men knew their roles and so did women and as some of us are trying to cling on to that concept, a lot of misunderstandings and arguments arise in the relationship. Especially with women coming out of their shell and fighting for their rights in todays society.

2. Men are not used to being vulnerable. Any African man can testify to the fact that they have been told " a man should not be weak, a man does not cry, mwanaume ni kuvumilia" by their fathers, who have been told the same by their fathers before them. But today women need that vulnerable side of the man to show them that they care. Being vulnerable means they will let them in more and express their feelings more.

3. As women rise to their feet and demand their rights and more opportunities, the men feel like they have lost their place, they have lost their identity in the community. Back in the days, men used to be worshipped and women used to respect the men but today women want to do what men do and they are even earning more than their husbands so the men have been made to feel inferior to a point where they want to show their strength, that they are still in charge by hitting women, and being unfaithful to show their " macho" side.

3. Some relationships still struggle with the finding balance between the old traditions in dating and the new tradition of dating. Some women want to let the man be the provider while the man ants the woman to help with the finances in the house. Today relationships are more about negotiations like who will take the kids to school tomorrow or who pays the rent or who pays for dinner? Its all open for debate but back then everyone knew their roles.

4. In some countries, not everyone has the same freedom to choose whom they want to date and marry. They still embrace the part of the culture where a parent or an elder is allowed to choose a partner for their kids.

 The fight for civil rights and the LGBTQ has been going on for a while now in most countries. But most countries have banned have banned these relations as they do not align with what culture represents. Some countries have even introduced punishment with life imprisonment. Many people are forced to remain in the closet about their sexuality.

How do we embrace the new dating culture and still manage to hold on to our roots and traditions?

Todays generation is more alone than ever because it has embraced the concept of  " Me, Myself and I" more than communism which is what culture stood for.

We all want and crave the kind of love that Romeo and Juliet had but we don't realize the type of work, courage and commitment it took for that kind of romance to blossom . 

Especially today when the norms of relationships are not what we used to know. We have an obligation to help each other. When the other grows then you grow together and that's the rule of any relationship: Teamwork.

The new culture of dating today has its benefit as well. Social media makes dating much easier. but its also responsible for a lot of jealousy and breaking up of most relationships. Today you can meet people online in just a few seconds and video call with your partner anytime anywhere but also this is so much different from that organic feeling you get by just meeting someone the old fashioned way; introduction by relatives or friends, you know. Meet someone on the road, talk for a few days, go out and just get to know each other before jumping into something serious. Culture and modernity are two fundamental part of our lives, shaping us from who we were yesterday, to whom we want to be tomorrow. Culture makes us feel a part of something greater. It connects us with our families, traditions and values.